Things need to change

Ok this is going to be long and disjointed because my brain has been going a hundred milers an hour and I have been getting so worked up about this.
While I was at the hospital I met a really lovely lady who had a little girl there with the same issues as Hastings temps infections ect. The little girl was 9 months old and the woman was her foster mum. This foster mum has 4  foster kids at the present time. A 13 year old girl who she has had in her care for 4 years, a 9 year old boy who she has cared for for 2 years, a 3 and a half year old who she has had for 1 year and his little sister whom I met who is 9 months old.
We will start with the 13 year old. She is a perfectly normal kid, when I say that I mean she has no health or mental problems. But she has some issues for the 9 year that she was with her parents washing and personal hygiene where far from the front of their minds in fact it was seen as just to much work. Now still after 4 years the foster family still has to force her to shower. When she first showed up at their door they had to teach her at 9 years old to brush her teeth and how to wash her hair. Her mother was regularly picked up for prostitution and her father is legally blind and used her as a little servant. There family week consisted of Thursday morning picking up centerlink money and binge eating all day and maybe if the money lasted till Friday they would eat then as well then they would not eat for the rest of the week or they would eat stolen fruit in coles. The foster family has had to break her of binge eating every time they would give her a meal she would inhale her food. Any time they go out still now she eats like it is her last meal.
The 9 year old boy, wakes up multiple times a night like a baby would. He came from a physically and sexually abusive home. The foster family got him to sleep through the night, until they did renovations and he got a new larger room. The change made him scared and they have been spending the last 3 months trying to get him back to sleeping through the night.
The 3 year old is a horrible story. He was taken from his mum up in Queensland and on one of her visits the mother stole him back and ran to NSW they did not catch up with her until she gave birth to the younger sister. The little boy was taken off her as soon as she came to the hospital and was taken to this foster family. He was two, he was wearing a size 7 shirt had a heavily soiled nappy and a big round infected scar on his face. The case worker told the foster family that his pregnant mother was high and the baby boy started getting upset and she BIT a chunk out of his face. She freakin bit her child's face. When the boy showed up at age two he could not walk he was a size 4 he had been kept in his cot for most of his life and fed 10 times a day. He was fed like a pig in a feed lot. He was fed to keep him quite, he was forced into being an overweight and under developed child.
The last little girl is really the luckiest. She was taken off her mother and was a crack baby. I know she doesn't sound lucky but she was taken off her mother when she was 3 days old and she has been with this fantastic foster mum ever since. Her mother is allowed bi monthly visitations but she has only shown up for one. Mothers out there just think about that only being allowed to see your new born baby once every 2 months, I know I would be knocking doors down to get to my child not missing the one time I am allowed to see him.
Anyway this amazing foster mum is looking at adopting the two younger kids in a year or so when she is allowed but DOCS has told her she is to old. They trust her to look after a new born baby they trust her more then they trust these kids parents but no she cant legally have these kids.
This mother of the two children also has 4 other kids in the foster system in QLD. This lady told me about a family in the foster system with 10 kids that have been taken from the one mother.

Now for the political, rude, controversial stuff.  These women should not be allowed children. I know this a bold comment and could border on out of line, controlling how many kids people have ect. But if you have one child taken off you that is not a great thing. If you have a second child taken off you, you should not be able to ruin more children's lives you should not be allowed to have more children. These children have done nothing to deserve the hell that they are put through. They do not ask to be born into these horrible lives.

Out-of-home care should be a last resort, not a first option

http://prugoward.com.au/Portfolio/CommunityServices/CommunityServices.aspx

This is from the website of Pru Goward. Is suggesting that we give these mothers and fathers more chances???? Let them keep there kids???? How many times have we heard child died from....... Family well known to DOCS. 

I dont know what needs to be done but something needs to be done. If you know any stories or have anything to add I would love to hear it. 

Happy Birthday Beautiful man

I have had an interesting last couple of days happy and sad, joyous and angry. It was my sons birthday yesterday which was lovely and that's what this post is about but more importantly PLEASE read my next post.
It was a mix emotion day, I spent the morning at the Hospital just getting Hastings checked again he has had horrible fevers and they had informed me on Sunday he had ear and throat infections. But after his check up he is getting better every day. Which is great but I spent from 8am till midday at the Hospital. We then had a lovely lunch with Hastings Grammy and Granny. We did some shopping including picking up his big present.

(his big present a lovely little piano)

We then picked up pizza and dad and headed home. Hastings had a nap while we got his party ready. 

(this is before Grammy's presents showed up)

He opened lots of presents and had a great time pulling and ripping paper. Although he pulled and ruined the paper   but he then put it all in one pile together. What  a star.   

He got so so many gifts. He is a very lucky kid. We then had pizza and ice cream cake, ice cream cake because he loves ice cream but not cake so much.

He loved us singing happy birthday to him he danced a little and clapped lots and He LOVED his ice cream cake.

He then had a lovely long bath which is one of his favorite thing.

It was emotional for me it was a year since I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. It was a year since I was the size of a house and waiting to meet my little man. It was a year ago our family turned fro two to three. It has been a really amazing year and he has been a really amazing baby. 

Happy Birthday Hastings 

Love you very much

Friday Night Dinner

This week we went relatively simple but fun. I didn't get photos but here is the website pic. Mine looked better. I did this with just rocket not micro salad and served it with steak I also added some chopped dates to the salad it added a lovely sweet bite. It was surprisingly delicious I highly recommend it. 

Goat's cheese wonton salad with blueberry dressing

Ingredients (serves 4)

• 250g blueberries
• 1cm piece ginger, thinly sliced
• 1 tbs caster sugar
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1 tsp sesame oil
• 100g soft goat's cheese
• 16 wonton wrappers*
• Canola oil, to deep-fry
• 2 cups micro salad leaves* or wild rocket
• Shredded spring onion, to serve (optional)

• Method

  1. Place half the blueberries in a pan with ginger, sugar, half the lemon juice and 1 tbs water. Simmer for 3 minutes over medium heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Push through a sieve and whisk in remaining lemon juice and sesame oil.
  2. Season and stir in remaining berries.
  3. Season cheese and place a teaspoonful in the centre of each wrapper. Brush edges with a little water, then bring up sides and seal to form parcels.
  4. Half-fill a deep-fryer or large heavy-based pan with oil and heat to 190°C (or test a cube of bread - it will turn golden in 30 seconds when oil is ready). Cook wontons until golden, then drain on paper towel. Serve on leaves and drizzle with dressing. Top with spring onion, if desired.

My lovely hospital visit

That heading may see really silly. I took Hastings to the Hospital emergency room on Wednesday morning after being sick for a week and unable to get an appointment at my doctor. He had two really bad nights choke coughing, so Wednesday morning 8am we dropped dada off at work and headed to the hospital. 8.15 we arrived at the hospital. 8.20 we went into triage and saw a really lovely nurse who said just fill in the paperwork and she will meet us around at the main door (usually a few hours later) but 8.23 I heard 'I'm just waiting here when you are ready' from the nurse. 8.25 into the hospital and got a bed and had 2 students and 2 nurses over to check Hastings vitals and do his chart up. 8.40 two doctors came and talked to us and found Hastings had Tonsillitis. Poor baby. So a couple of minutes later they came over with medicine for him and some hydralyte to get some electrolytes into him. 9.00 Nurses brought some toys over for Hastings and a coffee over for me. 9.30 the doctors came back to check on the boy and played with him for about 20 min walking him around the room letting him play on the scales. As you now may have guessed we were the only people in the kids section.

The doctors and nurses where amazing and so so great with Hastings. I could not have asked for a better hospital experience. Luckily Hastings is getting much better and he has not needed to take antibiotics so that is even better. Hopefully we don't need to go to the Hospital any time soon but if in the future we need to go to the hospital I will not be so scared.

Parenting

There is so much that we all as kids think our parents do or say that is 'so unfair'. Not let us go to parties, not let us have that toy ect. I know for me I just believed they were doing it for their own amusement for there own little sick game. I realize now how much this is not true. I see so many kids and so much that my own baby does that I just want to parent/ stop (hehehe).
I am pretty strict with Hastings but really he is pretty good. He has known and obeyed the word NO for a couple of months now. I am not saying 100% of the time he is perfect (I am the first to say he is not) but he follows it most of the time. I would be letting him be more of a baby explore learn his own lessons ect but I cant afford a baby who cant follow instructions now that I have another one on the way. One reason is that I am the size of a reasonably well fed elephant and slow, so I can not catch him as quickly if he is doing something he shouldn't  so he has to be able to understand when I say no I mean it. Second reason is once this baby has arrived I do not want to be worried that he is a horror child that I have no control of while I have my hands full feeding Baby Boy 2 and he is climbing into the oven ect. As a Mum I can say that we mums hate disciplining. We do not want you to grow up we do not want to have to discipline you. But on the other hand we would rather discipline then you turn into  little BEEEEEPS.   
When I first told Hastings no it was not so bad because he didn't understand and I could just move him away from the problem, but the first time I told him no and he understood I was upset mainly because he got a little grumpy (as we all do when we don't get what we want) he just put his hands between his legs and made a little cry. I knew then, my little baby was learning and growing up and I didn't want it to happen.
Anyway it has paid off. As I mentioned in an earlier post I was sick this week so just imagine a large slow elephant that has the sniffles. I also mentioned that we had the fire on, this is the first time we have had it on since Hastings has become mobile. I only had to tell him no twice, one time, two separate occasions. after he decided he was not going to get away with it he moved on. This I was proud of him for but the funny part came later when I was going to put wood in the fire and he pointed at me and told me No. I was not allowed to touch the fire either. I guess the next step is teaching him that the rules aren't all the same for everyone. How do you get that across to a kid who isn't even one yet?  

Cup Caking

I saw one of my lovely cousins and her family today and she said that she had been keeping up to date with my little family and the cupcakes through the blog, which I thought was lovely. It also reminded me that I have not been keeping up my cup caking. I make and sell 3 dozen cupcakes a week. I try different ones each week so I will try most weeks to get some pics up. This week we have Black forest cupcakes with chocolate butter cream frosting

and Lemon and Coconut cakes with lemon meringue frosting (this one was the favorite and I have a dozen ordered for next week so I will put up the recipe)

Lemon Coconut Cupcakes with Lemon Meringue Frosting

(Makes 24 cupcakes)

INGREDIENTS:

Lemon Coconut Cupcakes:

1 1/2 cups sugar
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 teaspoons lemon extract
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 1/4 cups cake flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 large egg whites

½ cup shredded coconut
yellow food coloring (if desired)

Lemon Meringue Frosting:

4 large egg whites

2/3 cup sugar

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon lemon zest, finely grated

pinch of cream of tartar

pinch of salt

DIRECTIONS:
1.   Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a cupcake pan with 24 cupcake liners.
2. Mix butter and sugar together with a hand mixer, beat at medium speed for a full 3 minutes, until the butter and sugar are very light. Beat in the extracts.
3.  Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt in a separate bowl.
4.  In another separate bowl, whisk together the milk, oil and egg whites. Alternately add the milk mixture and the flour mixture, mixing thoroughly after each addition, and ending with the flour. Gently fold in the shredded coconut and desired amount of food coloring.
5. Fill the cupcake liners ½ - ¾ way full.
6. Bake for 15-19 minutes, or until the cupcakes are well risen and a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. Cool in pan for 2 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. While cupcakes are cooling, prepare frosting.
7. Meringue Frosting: Bring a few inches of water to boil in a saucepan that can hold a mixer’s bowl above the water.
8. Whisk the, lemon juice, lemon zest, cream of tartar and salt in the bowl by hand.
9. Add the egg whites and beat on high until soft peaks form.
10. Add the sugar one tea spoon at a time until completely dissolved and it is thick and you can hold it over your head HA HA. Add a few drops of desired food coloring (I chose yellow) and continue beating until it holds stiff peaks. Frost cupcakes with as much as as little as you’d like.

11. Place under grill until just browned or use a brulee torch.
12.  Cupcakes are best eaten the same day. Will hold for up to 3 days in an airtight container.

You are Missed

There have been some very special people in my life some taken to early and all of them are so dearly missed.

It might just be pregnancy but it could just be getting older who knows, but I have been thinking about these people a lot and really missing them.

This will  be a bit sappy but just deal with it.

The person I miss the most and one of the most special people that has touched my life is my Pa, Robert Hastings Swain. I know he is so important to so many of my family and everyone who met him. He is my sons name sake, and he did so much and touched so many people. I think about him  so much, I wish that he got to meet my babies. I wish that my babies got to meet him.

There are three people I miss equally as much that where to young. Brett Bennett, Nick and Jino Stevens. I dated Brett in high school, he was not my sole mate but he was a really amazing boyfriend and an even better friend. He passed away when he was 17 in a car accident. He was a well rounded teenage boy which isn't common. Jino and Nick where Brothers and I knew them through Brett. They where a great support to me when Brett passed. They where 18 and 16 when they passed and their parents lost their entire family.

All of these people where big parts of my life and are duly missed. I love you all and I miss you.

My lovely Morning

I have a cold and I do not feel well, but this morning I have been treated.
My Husband made me a hot lemon and honey while I cuddled my little man in his room (which is nice and warm).
Then while I was cuddling my little man, Josh lit our fireplace for us. I had some scrambled eggs with Hastings and now I have a lovely cuppa, and a lovely toasty warm house. Josh has headed off to work and Hastings has had his breakfast and has gone down for his big nap for the day.
My house is reasonably clean just some washing up to do so I have a lovely quiet morning.
Thank you to my hard working and loving Husband and to my son who is as predictable as a clock you both make all my days easy but especially my sicky days.
Love you both. xxx

The things you do

You hear a lot of parents saying this 'Oh the things you do' or 'they do' but either way it is true. It is amazing the things that you will do for your baby or just what you will see them do that is mind blowing.


I am not a stressor, I am a very relaxed person I just take things as they come. But since becoming a mum I wince and cringe at every kid falling over or near miss a kid has. Not only my own but all kids. I really stress when it comes to kids getting injured even just a bump.


I am also not a touch person, I don't mind hugs but unless you are my son or my husband I don't want you giving me a kiss. I don't mind the kind of cheek bump thing that comes with a hug (in lieu of a kiss) I have a cousin in law who does this (you know who you are) and I really appreciate it, it fits in well with my touchy issues. But since becoming a mother I have had more hugs and kisses than ever in my life (mainly from my son) which really just comes with the territory. But there are the other things like since my belly as started to poke out my little man will come and check on it. He comes up to me and lifts my shirt up just to see it, but more then that he will blow raspberries on it. No other living human being would get away with this, I cant even stand people touching my stomach with their hands let alone with their mouth or their face.


I also clean with my mouth, I know this sounds funny but when you have a little boy getting into everything and food everywhere spit becomes a cleaner. I will lick my finger and wipe his face or I will bite the dirty part of his biscuit off. I know to everyone that doesn't have kids this would be disgusting and in all honesty I agree but some things need to get done and kids don't do it your way.


I know there will be so many of these things over my life that I will do and just hope that know one is watching. But I will do it for my babies, for their safely they cleanliness or just out of need, and I am going to give into my little issues to see my boy give me cute little raspberries even if it feels eww.  

Oh baby

Hastings had a brown and green nursery theme but this baby we are going with Blue and grey. I love having control over what their rooms will look like. One because I am a control freak and two because I wont get to do it all next time around. Which in a way is great because they will be forming their own sense of opinion and design but it will more then likely not be what I want.
Anyway here are some ideas that I have found that I like.

I love the woodland theme very cute

This is brighter then I was imagining but I love it

I love the Green blue in this pic it really pops on the grey background

I love these colors in this print

So as you can see my ideas are still all over the place but I have coulors that I like I just have to narrow it down or have 50 more kids so I can decorate every room the way I want it (I think I will just narrow down my ideas).

It's it's a ...

It's a boy! Hastings is going to be a big brother I am going to be a mama of two beautiful little men My husband will have two little buddies. As I have told everyone I really did not know if it was a boy or a girl and I had really no preference as long as I have a healthy baby I will be very happy. We feel so happy and so blessed. We have one beautiful son who has been a real joy and a very easy baby and now we have been given another little boy to be. Whether it was to be a boy or a girl we where just happy to be adding to our little family.